sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
