How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
