Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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