You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
return my video game
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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