She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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