I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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