he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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