Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
