I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
well you can't waste a boner
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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