he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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