I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Randomize
