Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
