I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
