There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
