I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
