So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
