We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
