Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
