I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
