real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
