There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize