their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
