How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
