i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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