is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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