I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
