Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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