Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
