evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
