Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
