My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
