Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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