Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Are we still banned from the library?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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