school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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