would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
