I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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