woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
