You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
