Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
