hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize