just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
