i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
