all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There was a lot of him and a little penis
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
