i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
