hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
