I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just come out here and I will go home with you...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
