are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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