How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want to make out with him forever
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
