We won't sleep together?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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