This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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