It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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