I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
