Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
