i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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