My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Your penis caused this!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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