Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
jump out the window naked night went bad
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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