i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
