kristin has been a bad kristin
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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