We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
