I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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